What follows is a random assortment of things that I heard while in school. They were mainly said by acting students, but every once in a while we would have faculty members say something as well. It is kind of random and just remember…this is the mind of an actor:
- An actors mind is like a babies diaper. You never know what’s in it.
- I was gonna say that I wore it home. But then I realized that two dozen people know where it is. And…yeah.
- I don’t believe in monogamy. It’s not for me. At least, not for a long time.
- 1100 grams of salt? This woman is dead!
- Where’s my sock?
- Why don’t you ever say anything sexual around me? It gets me all turned on.
- See what you have to look forward to?
- We have $150? Woo!
- Can’t we just not and all sleep in peace?
- But that’s the thing… she wants the reputation of department slut…
- That’s how we talk to each other… when we’re alone…at night…
- We’re having a protest at my apartment. They want to close the pool. And we’re pissed.
- It’s not like a fairy tale this time. I’m not just falling madly in love. This time I can actually think.
- Don’t just get a cheese bun warmed up. It just tastes like grease with a bun.
- He’s never talked much. I’ve known him for a good nine years, and he’s never said that much.
- So, what performance school are we going to?
- The cards don’t talk about death. Except for the death card…it does.
- I’d give you pork rinds, tea…, and even crumpets.
- And then I’d pork you…
- You two can be lovers, and we’ll all be buddies.
- “I’ve got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts….”
- Give it up. It’s over.
- I was just lying here on the couch and I heard her talking about jumping on me. I didn’t think she would. Then she did.
- We have rehearsal that day!
- I want steak!
- I thought he was timid…but he isn’t.
- You made it to Orange Julius?
- He was trying to hit on my little sister when they were alone in the basement.
- He’s got this fake British accent, and it pisses me off, cause when he gets drunk it just disappears
- Was I drunk?
- I really wanted to make out with someone last night.
- My sister threw me out of the way and got in their face like a bouncer would.
- He had been walking down the street, kicking in car windows.
- When he went to court the next day, he was still drunk.
- Is everyone decent in here?
- You’re always walking around in your underwear!
- Cookie monster doesn’t eat cookies anymore?
- I was playing poker with a deck of tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- They’re….special…
- Only the monkey was wearing a thong?
- You hussy!